CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

click click click did you those raindeer hooves!??!

List O Gifts

1.Cheetah Sperrys, another pair of Uggs. don't judge me.

2.Music: , Tenth Avenue North-Over and Underneath, Jon Foreman (any and ALL), Ke$ha, Rhiana, P!nk, Chris Tomlin-And If our god is for us..., Hillsong United (any and ALL), The Avett Brothers (any and ALL), Dave Mathews Band (any and ALL), Matt Costa (any and ALL), Trey Songz-Passion, Pain, and Pleasure, Copeland (any and ALL), Beyonce or Jay-Z....or all of the above

3.Books: ANYTHING touched/breathed on by Erwin Raphael McManus or Rob Bell or Shane Claiborne

Eat Pray Love, Dantes Inferno (preferably Chiardi version or some nice illustrated one...google it.), barnes and noble classics I don't already have (preferably jane auston, paradisio, and purgatorio), The gospel according to coco channel, anything astrology/zodiac garb, LOL GOOGLE "I HATE EVERYTHING" by Michael Dibenedetti

4. Movies: INCEPTION, jackass 3..if it's out, strait to dvd w/ all time low

5.COOL STUFF:

-electric blanket

-hippo shower cap

-see attached two pages

-sweet jewelry/hair stuff

6.QUALITY JEANS

-AKA from fossil, joe's brand a la macy's, or miss me's, silver jeans cheapest @ von maur

7.Ipod speakers

8.nice journal

9.legit painting stuff

10.cupcakes

Influences

 I think we are all aware that all the cicumstances surrounding us change and mold who we are and who we will become. I would dare to hope, at least, that we realize no one is their "own" person either. The kind of music we like depends on what kind of music our parents do or don;t (my keyboard refuses to type an apostraphe so we will be using a ;) like or have on in the car. Our social skills and preferences depend on how we were raised or where our comfort level was set into stone back when we were lil babes. The clothes we wear, the places we go, the enviroments we allow ourselves to enter into all are pre-determined. (stick with me on this). I know I;m fortunate enough to have decent parents and a decent background and a relationship with Jesus-so I have some pretty good influences. I;ve had good friends and some bad ones. But no matter how they treated me or what our relationship was like, they influenced me. We can all too easily think of someone who has been swayed or tempted by some bad influence, though. Now I;m not saying that they are not also responsible, but the influence does display some sort of power on people;s lives. Here;s where it gets a little deeper...... wait for it.......

.....still waiting.........

what would happen if we allowed Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to be our only influences? What would the world look like? What could we do? Who could we save- not just right now, for the time being, but for eternity? Now here;s some food for thought. I think some of us are fortunate enough to have brief moments where God is our only influence, but do we immediately tune into Him and turn off all the other fuzzy tv screens? How many times a day do we ignore God? or just blatantly look Him in the eyes and tell him "No. I won;t do that, I won;t go there. Sure, your Son did for me but I;m not willing to for anybody else." and feel okay about it, or not even recognize it? Scary, isn;t it? I don;t know what my point is in this, but I pray that if and when you read this something pops into your head. And when it arrives, pray about it. Think on it. Love on it a little, and see where it takes you. If you have ever heard of Mosaic you know that Edwin Rafael McManus is awesome. and he wrote a book called Wide Awake that is equally as awesome. I encourage you to read it, even if you aren;t a Christian or you aren;t into self-help books. Make the time to invest in yourself to invest in the world, which will bring God glory and change some lives, and probably make some pretty cool stories. We all have so much potential. I just imagine God being so frustrated with us for not embracing and releasing it. Its like the human race is a big giant sopping wet towel (yeah, i did just use four adjectives in a row). The wetness is our potential; we;re drowning in it people! wouldn;t you rather ring it out so we can be renewed than just let it sit there and crisp up!? Lets make something out of this. 

In other news, I;m leaving for Colorado Sunday. I am super excited to spend time with my favorite Brady girls and family. I have needed a vacation for so long, and I pray that this one will be a revamping of the old outlook I had pre January 2008. I also want to ask for prayers. I won;t get too specific, but they are certainly few and far between these days. And while you;re at it, pray for Steve Fee, his wife and children, and his band. Moral failure sucks, but we are all human and they need love and grace more than ever right now. I recently got a raise at work HOLLA! so i decided it is high time to figure out what money is and the best way to use it. So, I;m following Dave Ramsey in his financial plan for success for us tots. Lawsy mersy its gunna be a tough one, but I know it will pay off MUCHO twenty years from now. I just realized this is my first post as a senior.....!? i;ll let that be since i don;t know how to react to it still. okay, blog complete!

I wish

I blogged more. I never have cool things to say, or time to think about cool things to say rather.
I do know, though, that astrology has totes grabbed my attention lately-and it's cool! I realize that the Bible says we shouldn't look at this stuff, but I think its saying we shouldn't depend on it. I think we were made to be curious. and part of being curious means exploring. the more we explore the more we find God. I think astronomy is just another cool thing God created to add a lil depth and a little more cool factor.
So anyways,
I am a Gemini, tried and true. According to horoscope.com (clearly the most reliable resource)....

Versatility is a great keyword for this dual sign. Expressive and quick-witted, the Gemini presents two distinctive sides to his or her personality, and you can never be sure with which one you're going to come face-to-face. On one hand, the Gemini can be outgoing, flirtatious, communicative, and ready for fun, fun, fun. Yet when the other twin is present, you can find this air sign contemplative, serious, restless, and even indecisive. Both twins are able to adapt to life's circumstances well, making them wonderful people to know. Things are never boring when a Gemini is on the scene. Geminians are social and love spending time with friends and family. There will be times when this outgoing sign would want to go bungee jumping, and there will be times when sitting at home playing cards will suit them. Either way, friends are plentiful. Those who can match the Geminian intellect and love of variety will go the distance. One quality they seek out in others is communication. The Gemini loves to talk and gain insight from others. Without a clear flow of talk, the Gemini will lose interest pretty quick. Family is important, especially those of like mind. Friendship with siblings is quite common for the Geminian, and time spent together is cherished. Meeting responsibilities with family can pose a challenge at times, but almost always, the Geminian comes through. 

The best-suited careers for a Gemini are those that stimulate the intellect. "I think" is the key phrase for this sign. Geminians are inventive and often literary. It's important that the work they commit themselves to doing is dynamic and challenging so boredom doesn't set in.
Careers as a teacher, debater, reporter, writer, preacher, or lawyer are all well-suited to this sign. Any platform that gives the Geminian room to talk is best! A sales profession is another excellent choice. You can expect to see many tools for communication around this sign, such as PDAs, laptops, and cell phones. Generating new ideas and problem solving are other areas where the Geminian will shine.
Deciding between practicality and pleasure can be a tough thing for a Gemini. While money is a necessary evil, most don't spend a lot of time worrying about where their next dollar is coming from. They don't put much thought into balancing their checkbooks, yet they manage to get by just fine. This is largely due to the flexibility Geminians have.  Fun-loving and always up for an intellectual challenge, the Gemini is a spirited lover. The talk that precedes the interlude is just as important as the actual contact for this sign, and when it comes to wit, this sign holds nothing back. Flirtatious and curious, the Geminian will spend time with a lot of different lovers until they find one that can match their intellect and energy level. The Gemini needs to experience excitement, versatility, and stimulation to feel fully satisfied. Once the perfect match is found, though, the Geminian can settle into a lifestyle for two for the long haul.

Now tell me, does that not sound like me? it just blows my mind. like..... this

equals my brain. On another note, Pandora is equally as awesome. As is Asian Grill on the square. 
p.s. I=senior. WHAT? peeing my pants.

Love ya, Gaga

Telephone Remake @ Yahoo! Video

St0rY 0f My LyF3

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown, will you let me drown?

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side.

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this.
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful.
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need.

Hey now this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
Cause I am down on my knees
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful.

I'M SO SICK OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Love Day!

today was grand. normally, I think Valentine's Day is such an overrated, boring excuse for a holiday. BUT TODAY WAS JUST FAB! This morning I got up early and went to Starbucks and they gave me a free drink! this goofy gay black guy remembered me from drivers ed and we chatted and he gave me a present of coffee! hello, what's better than that? then, I was off to Uptown Cafe because
a) I was hungry. and they do have MY FAVORITE banana chocolate chip muffins. oh muh word, so good. and
b) Trevor was working! and i said like ... ten weeks ago i would visit and i didn't. so i felt as if i had failed him.

but then, the sun was shining in my eyes when i had to choose to turn right to go there or left for mi casa and the sun was too bright to the right so i just went home! it was that intense people. burned my irises? whatevs. so, sorry Trevor and Uptown Cafe, i love you both but i couldn't handle the pressure of sunshine without sunglasses at 9 a.m.

then, I watched three Audrey Hepburn movies right in a row! Roman Holiday, Sabrina, and Breakfast at Tiffany's. it's official that i was born in the wrong decade. God, i think you made an oops! then my sister and i went to Bath and Body Works while my mom and dad went to the hospital because my mom is so sickly. I distracted myself with some supa mint lipgloss, ps I love you bubble bath, and twilight woods perfume (soooooo delish). melissa just got lip gloss. boring. but aside from my happiness at that moment, i feel so bad for my mom and anybody else who has such a stupid chronic disease like that. i don't get it. i'm mad about it. i hate it.
that's all.

then i watched an Intervention (which was the 2nd saddest i've ever seen) which will likely result in another blog tomorrow because my eyeballs are about to just sizzle up and die.
?????? GOOD DAY FRIENDS you are loved!

OMG facts

A spider’s silk is stronger than steel.
The Yo-Yo originated as a weapon in the Philippine Islands during the sixteenth century.
1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions include a stripper.
You inhale about 700,000 of your own skin flakes each day. (I just barfed in my mouth)
According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots. (And more barfing)
More than 6,000 people with pillow-related injuries check into U.S. emergency rooms every year!
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
Babies start dreaming even before they’re born.
A fire in Australia has been burning for more than 5,000 years!
There are more female than male millionaires in the United States,
You can’t create a folder called ‘con’ in Microsoft Windows!
The average person spends three years of his or her life on a toilet.
The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insects legs in it.
OMGFACTS.NET

know anybody with a snail??

YLOM YLOH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I decided that no matter what I will read this book before I see the movie, even if I don't get to it by March 5th.
actually now that I think about it I don't know if I can wait.....

life as of 1/24

Everything is moving twenty times faster than it was last month. This weekend was especially CRAZY.
Friday, I thought I had to babysit. So I didn't make any plans, but after I realized I didn't I was really mad at myself for not over-scheduling like normal this time around. But it was for the best. I made yummy muffins and watched Say Yes to the Dress for a long time and then went to bed proptly at ten.
Saturday, I had to take the SAT! ugh. I woke up at six, took a shower, picked up a friend, drank two sips of Starbucks and had weird confrontations, drove to school, took the FIVE HOUR LONG TEST with more Asians than live in Indiana, went to Qdoba for lunch with two friends, drove them home, came home, took a ten minute nap and ate some lunch, saw Avatar 3D with two different friends, drove home, ate some dinner, and babysat some lovely little ladies, then came home and slept.
This morning, I woke up too late to make it to church so I decided to write my impossible history paper. It took six hours for me to have more than three sentences; can you say frustration!? But, I finished, and I am more proud of it than I thought I would be.

In the bigger picture though, I've been realizing how off my game I've been the past year (literally 365 days this Friday). Most of you know why, but otherwise that's not a blog-worthy topic. But for real. I don't go to church, sometimes just because I don't wanna because I don't care. That's awful to say and I'm already anticipating the comments/messages I'll get from this, but I don't. I've always been a do-it-myselfer. Which stems from my need to be attached to someone who thinks as highly of me as I do them. And this has never happened. I'm not talking like boyfriend type business, I mean a genuine friend. I've never had a best friend. Is that weird? It makes me sad that I genuinely can't call anybody that, because I always either feel second best (usually the case) or get frusterated with that person so I just cut myself off. I have read/heard that God feels this way about me, but I just doubt my butt off. I can't discipline myself enough to be focused and half the time even awknowledge his presence. This is a rant. But I'm saying that I am lost and I feel like somebody just snipped the wire that was connecting me to Him. I don't know how to pray, never have, and that's so ANNOYING! I just want answers, pretty, simple, nice answers. And they don't exist.
phew. lots o typing.
However, I am in love with the idea of being in love with God. I know I am, and was, and always will be, but right now is a plateou and it sure doesn't seem like it. Bear with me (who came up with that saying??).
I wish I could go to youth group.

on a new note! I have money now, which means I can do things. ha. the goal is to have at least $300 always but then I can spend the rest. I'm sponsering a kiddo from compassion for sure and I was thinking about getting a gym membership/taking a pilates class just because I think its funny and I want to do it! There are obviously a lot of material things I want too, but those are just going to have to be on the back burner.
I still have no idea what I want to do with my life in terms of jobs. But, I still think being an editor or some sort of director/film person would be off the chain. I just want to travel, but I want a family with a white-picket fence. The thing is, though, that I need to do drastic things and see drastic things to be the person I want to be. i haven't figured out how all this will coincide yet, but it will.
I like Anderson, I'm visiting there this Saturday. I know people and it's Christian and its pretty and as much as I hate to admit it, I may just like being close to home. We'll see.
I wish my youth group was going to Bigstuf. It just breaks my little heart. but obviously no leaders want us there and the big guy hasn't exactly made that loud and clear either. I am not going to CIY again. That place made me not want to be a Christian because I was so embarressed at how I felt like they represented the Word and the Love of Jesus. I will not pay money to hear that again. I tried to think of a comprimise but nobody went for it, well leaders anyway. So, I guess no church camp this summer. That's weird, and I feel like that is only adding to this weird phase I'm in. Oh well. I was listening to my cd's from past Bigstuf's and they still stick out and are relevant right this second.
Listen and learn, go further faster.
Direction, not intention, determines destination.

Just think about it kitties.

Tragic Joy

I left my phone at school. on a Friday. Which means no phone for a weekend, but I really don't care about that. I'm just processing ALL the tweets/messages that I'll have Monday.......
OH THE CHAOS!

so, is there some reason this happened Big Guy?

Escu me?

So....today school started. I don't think I've ever experienced such disconnect and numbness and weirdness and awkwardness and bumpyness before. I'll start from the beginning.
I couldn't fall asleep until I drugged myself with Benedryl at 1:45 a.m. After this, I had CRAZY AWFUL dreams. Dreams I can't even talk about. Then I woke up, obviously, and slammed my head into the wall next to me. It hurt and scared me because I felt like every bone in my face vibrating with ouchies. I just laid there for a little bit then went back to sleep for about an hour because of those stinkin' dreams, then woke up in cold sweats, and this cycle continued (except I only could sleep for 20 minutes max each interval) until 4:30 a.m.
So I decided it was time to just get up and do this thing. I got in the shower and the water was colder than the polar ice caps. My shampoo was empty and there were no towels in the bathroom. How this happened I don't know, but it did. So I go in my room and start drying my hair, innocent enough, right? Well, halfway through the machiene I was using decided pooping out would be grand! so it did just that. I just let the other half go crazy and attempted to tame it later. Blah blah blah, normal routine. My ride was on time and things were looking up! We dropped her sis off at her school, and parked relatively close to the doors so I wouldn't have to walk twenty miles in the cold. However, just as I was walking in I said "my feet are so slippery I'm def. gonna fall today." Well, BE CAREFUL WHATCHYA SAY. the next thing I knew I had fallen, taken out the girl behind me, and caused quite the scene in the middle of the hallway. I laughed it off and it was okay. I went to the wrong distribution room TWICE and was a good twenty min. late to block one-Physics. IT WAS THE MOST AWFUL CLASS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have friends, I never have not known/liked anybody, well today was a first. I sat in a corner by a smelly child and listened to my teacher (who asked us to call her Big Maggie while sucking down a Coke) droned on about her ADHD. Now no offense, I'm here to learn about things physics-like, not your personal issues.
Then, Block 3 I had choir. My teacher is crazy; she has no idea what to do/how to teach/how to improve anything in anybody's life so she decided a contest the day after prom was a good idea. Also that we were going to competitions we are NOT EVEN CAPABLE OF FAILING. We should just be burned at the steak for even attempting.
THEN THE WORST: BLOCK 5. So I walk in, and I see my long lost lovely friend who sits next to me! I was so happy I wanted to sing a song! Then, I looked to my left. who do I see but the dufus who smashed my car then asked me out all in 24 hours? We made that awkward eye contact and then I immediately wanted to pee my pants and run away. My teacher was precious, and she liked talking about art and places she's seen and I liked it. Then the C Lunch bell rang. I literally have three friends, no acquaintances, in that lunch. So it was sad and weird. THEN, I see my ultimate unspoken archenemy. Scratch that, not really enemy, but the closet thing to it imaginable. We also made awkward eye contact, but being the chicken I am, I just blew him right off. So Block seven is up next.
I thought it would be okay because my dearest ACPUSH buddies were with me, not to mention my best friend. BOY WAS I WRONG. The other people are crazy. not crazy fun, crazy annoying. I cannot wait to never see them again, like fo reals. My teacher told us how much harder this semester will be and I know my butt is gonna be kicked. Especially with my job sucking up my life during the week and crazy things like that. So I'm discouraged. For a pick-us up my bffl decided a milkshake was in order. We're walking to the parking lot, and the little rat called my enemy kicked a bottle at my leg! not nicely, VERY MEANLY AND STUPIDLY. Then cuts me off just because he knows that drives me mad. So I took out the banana peel I found in her car and threw it right at his. I know I shouldn't have, but hey, I did so...that's that. Then we got to our milkshake destination and they were out of milkshakes!!!!!! Idon'tunderstandtheworld!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatevs.
I realized tomorrow first thing I have precal with a bunch of seniors I don't know and the worst teacher in the school. I'm smart, I get good grades. I suck at precal. I got a C on my final, which ate my heart right out of me. because I'm crazy. and I know it doesn't matter, but it does. Anyways, I hate it already. Block 4 bible lit is gonna RULE and block 6 won't be bad either. Lunch should be good, but I'm praying I won't see my enemy again. However, my first time at the job without a guider scares me alot.
but I can do it!

Also, on a lighter note, I have like ten itunes cards and I need sugguestions. bring it!